As the world opens up again and things begin to look somewhat “normal” (whatever that means), I sit at my favorite coffee shop looking for the inspiration I need.
My soul, too, begins to open up one sip of lavender latte at a time.
It is Spring, and the mood is light as I endeavor to put together words to describe the latest reflection of my journey through this life.
I share words in the hope that I may encourage you as you read along.
My love for Jesus and the works He continues to do in me, my mind, and my feelings are the things that I can’t stop talking about.
That’s why I sit in front of my computer.
And why do I love Him you ask?
I have an answer to that.
In one word – “persuasion.”
Jesus is God’s persuasion of humans.
And how in the world does an invisible presence persuade?
Let me tell you a story.
If you and I were sitting across from one another in this coffee shop, talking. If I proposed it, would you agree that everyone survives a broken childhood?
No matter what that was, wouldn’t you agree with me?
I am almost sure that you would.
So, would you be nice and entertain me?
Thank you, friend, I knew I could count on you.
I am like every human that’s ever lived too, part of a set of broken people, a family.
People with insecurities and fragmented hearts, who by default hurt me during my formative years. They let me down but also loved me in their broken way.
Surprisingly, on my road to recovery, the most healing discovery of my life is this: they did not intentionally harm me.
They, too, were doing the best they could, just like me.
Accepting this concept has perpetually brought healing to me.
Still, inherently at times, I will look at myself with a broken set of eyes.
Do you know the moments when you can only see what’s wrong in life and the familiar storyline repeats?
In my experience, constant questioning begins.
“What right did I perform today to feel worthy?”
And the answer is very predictable; “I should be doing..”
Not- enoughness disables my ability to count my blessings.
That’s the moment when inevitably, the void begins to open.
It is like a vacuum in the middle of my chest. A cold draft stops my blood from bringing warmth to my heart.
It is then when I feel as if I am on the outside of love.
But you see, my friend Jesus, with a bit of help from His other friends, interrupts this God-forsaking narrative with His love.
Persuasion is being reminded that on your worst day, you are not loved any less than on your best.
Calling a friend, I start the litany of self-rejection, but a true friend defends love by saying: “Don’t talk to my friend Georgina like that.”
Or the voice of my therapist as I abruptly exhale during my last visit, “great, I’ll have to deal with myself.”
But I hear Jesus in her loving response;
Their love-reorganizing comments help me to come back to God’s loving reality.
Words persuade back to love.
Love can re-organize my life.
Love can re-organize my thoughts, and I am once again on the inside faced by love.
The atmosphere of my heart changes when the language of Heaven takes center stage.
He persuades with re-organizing love.
I am loved, and no matter how many times I forget.
Still, sometimes, I need to be reminded.
He persuades me, and His love becomes a life organizing force that compels me to think straight.
He persuades me to see myself as worthy as He does.
Etymology states that persuasion is the action of inducing (someone) to believe (something) by appeals to reason (not by authority, force, or fear).
He knows as fractured children; persuasion is the way to trust.
He sees, He shows, and guides.
Anything lovely is Jesus.
It makes me think about the times when, out of nowhere, a yellow finch has flown next to me.
It’s happened on the mountain, forest, or right around the corner of my house.
Can this be explained?
But I choose to use my healed imagination to think that Jesus wants to show me the lovely things that make my heart come alive. And so, I see the yellow finch.
It is re-organizing love, which throws out the old patterns of brokenness and the scars of unworthiness and performance.
It takes us back to reconcile our inner child, who can only be contented on our parents’ lap.
And perhaps the notion of that is foreign to most of who were raised by dissociation.
But re-organizing love has informed my heart that God is the parent I always wished I had.
Jesus came to show us how God, our Heavenly parent, can be trusted.
I am humbled and quieted in your presence. Like a contented child who rests on its mother’s lap. I am your resting child, and my soul is content in You.Psalm 131:2 The Passion
Trade-in your broken frames, and you shall see.
Miracles require participation.
Do you want to be healed? Said Jesus to the man at the pool.
Do you friend?
Or do you excuse yourself that your life is too messy ever to be re-set?
The key to recovery is acceptance.
Love persuades us to believe that this state in which we find ourselves is not a fixed product of our being.
It takes time to trust real love.
Because when we have suffered and “imposter love” has let us down, the trauma creates distrust.
It only takes a holy minute to understand that the kind of love that Jesus gives is the kind that brings life and heals the broken and disparaging parts of the fractured human soul.
It takes time to accept that even on my worst day, God loves me.
It takes time to fall in love so deep and genuine.
Earning systems are devoid of any power in the kingdom.
Our values are re-organized in love.
You see, it doesn’t take work to be on the inside.
It takes a moment in which we only have to believe.
Even when we forget to believe, we remember and let love re-organize our thinking.
So, the child in me hears the good shepherd’s voice in the friend’s voice or the therapist and the unexpected appearance of the yellow finch.
Indeed, we see what we long to see; love.
Until next time may His love re-organize your life.